I Cannot Stop Crying at College
Ever since I was a little girl I have suffered fits of crying. It seems where other people get angry or a little upset and show their feelings on their faces I tend to just cry. I have tried not to, but if it is a sad movie or an argument with anyone I cannot help but to cry. As soon as I know I am crying I start to get extremely angry with myself and of course that makes the situation so much worse.
Now at school people just got use to my strange behavior and after seeing it so many times they just ignored me. My family and neighbors were the same too. So after a year or so my behavior just became normal. When I cried over the wrong food being served or a night out cancelled I just accepted that all my friends understood and accepted my flood of tears.
Moving forward a few months and now I am at college. It is exactly what I want. It is a big well run college packed solid with so many friendly people and great facilities. I have somehow managed to please the gods as my new roommate is such a delight. We get on very well and we share so many things in common.
Of course it was all going a little too well for me. Last week a group of about five of us girls went out to a local steak house to get to know each other. Everyone smiling and everyone really getting on well. We placed our orders and had a few welcome drinks whilst we waited for the food. I have to say at this point I have not had a crying escapade, so none of my new friends have seen this horrible side of me.
The food took ages to come over, but the drinks helped to make the wait much better. Then it arrived and it was clear that the waiter had got everything mixed up. Not one of our orders was totally right and the poor waiter got a telling off from all the others. I must admit I felt sorry for him, but in order to keep with the sense of anger from my friends I told him how stupid I he was and he had ruined our evening.
This was a thirty second barrage and then it happened. I started to hear my voice waiver and the girls were looking shocked at me. I was crying again! To make the situation worse I became so embarrassed that I ran off to the toilet which caused the situation to get worse as two girls came in with me to see if I was OK? Of course I kept saying nothing and this just annoyed them so they wanted to know why I was crying?
I returned to the table and kept a low profile the rest of the evening. I left earlier on the excuse I was behind on my essay editing. Now everyone from that night is avoiding me as they think I am sort of head case. My roommate is also a little distant from me now. I tried to explain the situation to her but she just nodded politely and carried on listening to her music.
I guess I just have to get use to my tears and the others will too. In the meantime I will have to pretend to do more essay editing alone until I can really develop new friends here in college.
Jill Munroe is still crying her way through college.
Ever since I was a little girl I have suffered fits of crying. It seems where other people get angry or a little upset and show their feelings on their faces I tend to just cry. I have tried not to, but if it is a sad movie or an argument with anyone I cannot help but to cry. As soon as I know I am crying I start to get extremely angry with myself and of course that makes the situation so much worse.
Now at school people just got use to my strange behavior and after seeing it so many times they just ignored me. My family and neighbors were the same too. So after a year or so my behavior just became normal. When I cried over the wrong food being served or a night out cancelled I just accepted that all my friends understood and accepted my flood of tears.
Moving forward a few months and now I am at college. It is exactly what I want. It is a big well run college packed solid with so many friendly people and great facilities. I have somehow managed to please the gods as my new roommate is such a delight. We get on very well and we share so many things in common.
Of course it was all going a little too well for me. Last week a group of about five of us girls went out to a local steak house to get to know each other. Everyone smiling and everyone really getting on well. We placed our orders and had a few welcome drinks whilst we waited for the food. I have to say at this point I have not had a crying escapade, so none of my new friends have seen this horrible side of me.
The food took ages to come over, but the drinks helped to make the wait much better. Then it arrived and it was clear that the waiter had got everything mixed up. Not one of our orders was totally right and the poor waiter got a telling off from all the others. I must admit I felt sorry for him, but in order to keep with the sense of anger from my friends I told him how stupid I he was and he had ruined our evening.
This was a thirty second barrage and then it happened. I started to hear my voice waiver and the girls were looking shocked at me. I was crying again! To make the situation worse I became so embarrassed that I ran off to the toilet which caused the situation to get worse as two girls came in with me to see if I was OK? Of course I kept saying nothing and this just annoyed them so they wanted to know why I was crying?
I returned to the table and kept a low profile the rest of the evening. I left earlier on the excuse I was behind on my essay editing. Now everyone from that night is avoiding me as they think I am sort of head case. My roommate is also a little distant from me now. I tried to explain the situation to her but she just nodded politely and carried on listening to her music.
I guess I just have to get use to my tears and the others will too. In the meantime I will have to pretend to do more essay editing alone until I can really develop new friends here in college.
Jill Munroe is still crying her way through college.
